Monday, June 15, 2015

What We Learned: Game of Thrones 5.10: Mother's Mercy

1. Starkin' aint easy

If GoT had a hashtag, I have been #TeamStark since day one. I learned about this world with the Starks, I learned what to meant to be good in this world with eeh Starks, and after watching their family torn apart, I have been rooting for their children to exact their revenge ever since Ned's head was chopped off.

But then Theon betrayed Rob, and torched Winterfell, basically opening the door for the Boltons to seize the North. And then the Red Wedding broke all of our hearts, taking away Rob, Catelyn, and most of the Stark army. Last season we got a glimmer of hope - Arya was off for super secret Braavosi Ninja training, Sansa was safe in the Eyrie, Jon was becoming a leader at the Wall and Bran was ready for who knows what. Well good bye optimism, as Sansa will be falling off a castle wall in my mind for the next ten months, Arya is blind and Jon Snow lays bleeding out in the snow. ARRRGHHH - HULK SMASH!!!

Sorry - you wouldn't like me when I am angry.

If next season doesn't find that Sansa landed in a big pile of snow and ran away, Arya has become the GoT universe version of Daredevil, and Jon has been brought back to life by Melisandre (using the same magic we've seen Thoros of Myr use to resurrect Beric Dondarrion), then I won't be a happy camper. But then again, Game of Thrones really is not in the business of sunshine and rainbows.

2. The Most Honorable characters means a terrible fate.

I am still viscerally upset after last night's episode. But I feel like George RR Martin had a very specific message in mind when crafting these stories, and it is this: Life is not fair, and it REALLY wasn't fair when all someone needed was a sword in their hand to make all the decisions.
Let's take a look at the show's most honorable men and women, and their eventual fate:

- Ned Stark: Known as one of the most honorable men in Westeros, raised his children the same way. When discovering the Lannister's secret, he tried to show them mercy. In the end, he confessed to treason he didn't commit to save his family and avert a war, and he lost his head over it.

- Jon Snow: Has emerged as one of the great leaders in the show, has a grasp on th bigger picture: He chooses life over death. But when he makes the most obvious decision ever: Have the Wildlings join in the fight against the White Walkers and the army of the dead, he is stabbed to death over his foresight. At this point most of the brother's of the Night's Watch complaining about the Wildlings might as well be rednecks from the South complaining about Europeans - they aren't that different than you or I - they were just born on a different side of the Wall...  

- Brienne of Tarth: Accused of killing her king, denied a chance at love due to cruel young lords, and forced to watch the only man she ever loved die in her arms. She at least is still alive, but has been unable to convince the Stark children to let her protect them. She did get a bit of revenge finally, executing Stannis for using black magic to kill his own brother.

- Maester Aemon Targaryen:  A maester of the Night's Watch, he was a million miles away when the ravens arrived telling him that his entire family had been slaughtered, and despite being next in line to be King, he was old, blind, and too honorable to leave his post. He died knowing his only living relative was alone on the other side of the world, surrounded by strangers and that there was nothing he could do to help her.

- Ser Barristan Selmy: An honorable man of the King's guard, angered when he was dismissed by royal pain in the ass Joffrey, travelled far and wide to find Daenerys and be in her Queen's Guard. He was killed in an alley by slavery fanatics.

- Jeor Mormont: Admired by both Jon and Tyrion, he did his best to lead the Watch, but was betrayed by his own men. Lord Commander of the Night's Watch might be the most dangerous job in the Seven Kingdoms. As Tyrion told Jorah: "We shall never see his like again."

- Ser Daavos Seaworth: Sure he once was a smuggler, but he has been the one man trying to lead Stannis towards a just conclusion. Stannis ignored all his advice, which led to his defeat. Now Daavos finds himself at Castl Black, surrounded by traitors and ihs least favorite person in the world, the Red Priestess.

- Jaime Lannister: WHAT you say?  The Kingslayer, HONORABLE? if we are going based on the cocky asshole from season one, you would never put him on this list. Well let's think about it: after being raised by his hard-ass Father, he became the youngest ever member of the Kingsguard. Yes hs killed the king - but only after the Mad King had ordered that King's Landing be burnt down, along with his father's army.  When confronted by Catelyn about breaking his vows, he gave this great quote:
"So many vows...they make you swear and swear. Defend the king. Obey the king. Obey your father. Protect the innocent. Defend the weak. But what if your father despises the King? What if the king massacres the innocent? It's too much. No matter what you do, you're forsaking one vow or the other.”
So he is known for his biggest mistake - which was probably the right decision. But he went on protecting the King for years, until the War against the North broke out. When captured, he offered to put his life on the line to end the war - him vs. Rob, for all the marbles. He saved Brienne twice, once from being raped, once from being killed. What did he get for his trouble? His sword hand chopped off, taking away his identity as a warrior. He returned home, maimed, shunned by his true love, embarrassed by his father. He also saved his brother from being falsely executed, and for his troubles he was allowed to watch two of his children die in his arms. No wonder he doesn't fear death.

More Questions than Answers:

1. Is Melisandre a liar? Or does she have bad reception on hire fire visions? AND WHEN IS SHE GOING TO RESSURECT JON?

2. How is Stannis such a great tactician? Every decision he made was a mistake - and he single handedly destroyed his entire bloodline.

3. So I guess it is up to Rickon to become the next great Stark Warrior? Unless Bran "learning to fly" becomes something much more bad ass than we can imagine.

4. I guess after getting together her Dream Team, we needed to find a way to Keep Dany from going to Westeros? This damn show can be so frustrating!

5. Is Jaqen H'ghar even a person? Or just a mask that Arya recognizes?   

6. Now that Cersei has been publicly humiliated and has a second dead child, how destructive will her wraith be? I don't think she found religion. Stop trying to make me feel bad for her!

GoT Warrior Power Rankings

1. Jon Snow: I told you to watch your back!!! Asshole Thorne - I guess Stannis was right to suggest sending him away. Stay with us Jon.

2. Brienne of Tarth: At least she got to lay out justice for Renly's murder - now here is hoping she runs into Reek and Sansa

3. Tormund Giantsbane: Avenge your ally, Tormund. Bring Wun Wun.

4. Daario Naharis: He moves up a spot for keeping his cool - Jorah was ready to fight everyone, while he wisely set up Mereen to be ruled while they search for Daenerys.

5. Jorah Mormont: He sure is cocky for a guy who nearly died last week - what's his problem with Tyrion?

6. Wun Wun: I hope he eats Ser Allister.   

7. The Mountain: He's back!!!! We haven't seen him fight, but we've seen dead men can fight jsut as viciously as the living

8. Ser Bronn of the Blackwater: He's got game!

9. Grey Worm: Glad to see him back. It was smart for him to stay back in Mereen and keep the peace.    

10. Tyrion Lannister: The foremost killer of Lannisters finds himself ruling a new city. Although he did get punked by Daario, it was only after he pissed off him and Jorah by informing them what they already knew: Neither were a proper love match for a highborn Queen.

11. Jaime Lannister: Poor Jaime - is he going to turn the ship around?

Quoted Quotables:

Jon Snow: "I'm glad the end of the world is working out for someone."

Brienne: "In the Name of Renly of the House Baratheon, I Brienne of Tarth sentence you to die. Do you have any last words?"                                                                                                                                                                                             Stannis: "Go on, do your duty."

Arya: "Do you know who I am? I can't hear you. you know who I am - I'm Arya Stark. Do you know who you are? You're no one. You're nothing."

Jaime, to Bronn: "Whenever you're ready, My Lord."

Myrcella: "I think I always knew. And I am glad - glad that you are my father." Hope you enjoyed that 10 seconds of happiness, Jaime.

Daario: "Does he always talk so much?" "Good fortune my friends. Mereen is ancient and glorious. Try not to ruin her."

Varys: "Information is the key. You need to learn your enemies strengths and strategies,  you need to learn which of your friends are NOT your friends."  


Sunday, June 7, 2015

What we learned: Game of Thrones: 5.9 The Dance of Dragons

1. The Trip to Dorne has been worthless
While it is always cool to see different cities on the map and how they relate to the bigger picture, I feel like the trip to Dorne has been a bit of fluff to fill some time this season. I've had it in the back of my mind all season that it has been foretold that all of Cersei's children will die before her, perhaps sending Jaime to Dorne and her King's Landing mistakes are what fulfills the prophecy.  

2. Fuck Stannis
Most people who talk to me about GoT know that I will be forever team Stark. So this season I have been rooting for Stannis to take Winterfell and save Sansa, and restore order to the North. All I've wanted since Theon took Winterfell is a Stark ruling Wintefell again, not being its prisoner as Bran and Rickon were and Sansa is now. And now we have to choose between the asshole who burnt his daughter alive and the Boltons. Great choice.

3. Jorah Mormont IS crazy - LIKE A FOX  
I knew Jorah would be happy just to see his Queen again. He was the one fighter who said he would be proud to die for his queen and meant it. The heartbreak in BOTH of their eyes was obvious - even Daenerys face showed how much it hurt her to watch this man who has protected her get slashed over and over again. And then WOOSH - with a flick of the wrist, he fired a spear into the crowd and saved Daenerys life. Everyone was asleep at the wheel (probably watching HIM fight), and luckily he, Daario and Tyrion were able to hold off the Sons of the Harpy until Drogon showed up! I never saw a scenario where Jorah would be able to earn his way back into the fold, but here it is. Who would have thought Daario was right when he suggested rounding up all the great houses and having her dragons kill each one.

4. Dragons gonna Dragon
Drogon saves the day! We have been waiting for the Mother of Dragons to get some control of her children, and we finally saw it. I thought this wouldn't be the case until someone (Varys?) brought her a book called "How to train your Dragon". But it turns out she needed to embrace her inner feelings the same way she did when she entered the fire pit with her dragon eggs, and the same way Bran did to warg into his direwolf. Now it is time to let the other two out of their cage and get to Westeros.  

5. Arya will never let go of her past.
I have been a bit bored by Arya's ninja training this season, and tonight was no different - instead of killing her supposed target, she goes off following one of the names on her list - Ser Meryn Trant. We get to follow him around for a few minutes until he takes up at a brothel - and shocker, to make an unlikable character MORE unlikable, he needs little girls delivered to him. Let's hope Arya kills someone in her full season of training with the Faceless Men-hopefully someone on her list.

More Questions than Answers:
1. Did anyone else think when Dany closed her eyes she was about to Warg into her dragon?
2. What exactly will burning his Daughter earn Stannis? Why not just keep banging out shadow monsters from the red priestess?
3. Is Jon Snow safer with the Wildlings?
4. Was this the weakest of the episode 9 surprises(The episode title TOLD us a dragon would be in the mix)? Or are they just keeping us off balance so we don't know what to expect?   

GoT Warrior Power Rankings

1. Jon Snow: Honorable men seem to suffer the worst fates in Westeros, and the feeling at Castle Black couldn't be more ominous. Watch your back, Jon Snow.

2. Brienne of Tarth: No sight this week - she awaits Sansa's signal still. And before you argue with me on this, remember she once fought a bear with a wooden sword in a dress!

3. Tormund Giantsbane: It appears that Wildling "elder" from last week was Tormund's wife - he mentioned his daughters, and he is seen escorting the two girls from last week's episode. This seems high for him, but he has battled the army of the dead, as well as taken down Ser Allister Thorne in the battle at the wall.

4.Jorah Mormont: We got to see Jorah in action - and his best was saved for last. He barely survived his fighting in the pits, but once his queen was in danger, it was like someone gave him a power up!

5. Daario Naharis: He gave us a reminder of his skills protecting Daenerys this week. For his bravery, he moves up a few spots - but still is behind Jorah for failing to protect his queen despite being directly behind her.  

6. Wun Wun: I probably should have him first - who could defeat him one on one?  

7. Ser Bronn of the Blackwater: Bronn survives! He might not be eating any solid food for awhile, but at least he will return to King's Landing with a much improved status thanks to Jaime.

8. Jaqen H’ghar: He remains patient with Arya, but I can see it wearing thin if she shirks her duties to follow Meryn again.   

9. Tyrion Lannister: I considered adding him to the list last week based on his leadership at the Blackwater, as well as him beating a man who had him in chains. This week he reminded everyone he is a dangerous man, getting in enough throat rips to make MacGruber jealous.  

10. Grey Worm: A no-show this week, apparently still convalescing. Hopefully the Sons of the Harpy did not visit him in him chambers.   

11. Jaime Lannister: His sword might be dull, but his tongue is sharp as ever.  

12. Loras Tyrell: Still in jail, dreaming of Renly. Perhaps they will be together soon!


Outside looking In: Ser Allister Thorne, Arya Stark, The Mountain (What is under the blanket, Qyburn?!?), Stannis Baratheon, Ramsay Bolton, Beric Dondarrion

What we learned: Game of Thrones: 5.8 HardHome

1. ALOT about the White Walkers - Including they have Swagger!
The White Walkers have been mostly a teach in Game of Thrones - we have had 3 on screen appearances, and all of them brief. This was the first time we really get to see them in action.
First, we learned fire has no affect on them. The first Walker that appeared to fight the Wildling Then and Jon Snow in the barn - as he enters the bar, the flames around him. Next, not only does Dragonglass kill them, but so does Valyrian Steel. We have only seen a handful of Valyrian steel swords (Longclaw [Jon Snow], Oathkeeper [Brienne], the dagger used in the attempt on Bran Stark's life and Widow's Wail [Tommen] are the only Valyrian steel swords that have appeared in the show. Let's hope the Brothers of the Night's watch didn't lose all their dragon glass in the Battle at Hardhome - or that Stannis has some glass being delivered form Dragonstone.
Second - who know the Walkers were show offs?


2. Cersi's latest power grab was her undoing.
I mean honestly - what would someone with as many skeletons in her closet give power to religious fanatics? As the wise philosopher 50 Cent once said, "don't throw stones when you live in a glass house." What did she think Lancel was going to do after he got his head tattoo, continue lying to protect her? Cersi was put in her place by a few too many people in the last two seasons, and in an effort to stay on top, she has people in jail, her son wasting away in his room crying to Ser Pounce, and her entire house about to crumble.

3. Jorah Mormont is on a suicide mission.
Many people have said he has gone crazy. While close, he has been banished from his homeland, then was banished from his true love. He thought he had a way to get back into her good graces, but for all his efforts he was infected with Greyscale and sent packing AGAIN. Considering we've only seen one character in the show who has survived Greyscale, Jorah knows he will be dying soon, so he is going to do whatever he can for the Mother of Dragons - even if that means just killing slaves in the fighting pits, he wants to die fighting for his queen.

4. Slavery is still alive and well in Slaver's Bay
OK, I'm cheating a little bit here using details from "The Gift", but for someone who thinks she has ended slavery, she isn't doing a great job. Jorah and Tyrion were enslaved, bought and sold, and forced to fight in the pits. When Tyrion suggested they fight as free men, the master gave him a quick punch in the jaw, flipped him a coin, and said that those wages would last the rest of his life. The Masters have found a loophole to exploit; When Daenerys allowed slaves to sell them back to their masters for a period of no more than one year, she gave them all they needed to keep slavery alive and well. And not every slave is as well educated as Tyrion.

More Questions than Answers:
1. How many Wildlings did Jon bring back? I have re-watched last week's episode many times, and it appears most of the Wildlings were on the WRONG side of the wall when the army of the dead attacked - meaning the Walkers MIGHT have the largest army in the world.  
2. Will Stannis realize the most important battle lies to the North and not in Winterfell? 
3. Will episode 9 have the surprises we've come to expect from GoT, or did they give us that an episode early this season? 


GoT Warrior Power Rankings


1. Jon Snow: Once a whiny little "lord" he has gone full bad ass, punishing the mutineers, defeating the wildlings, recruiting them, and then killing a White Walker. Sure, Sam killed one, on accident - Jon stared one in the eye and took it down. I can't think of anyone with a better kill on their resume. I would mark him down for being such a clean, pretty fighter, he has proved himself time and time again.


2. Brienne of Tarth: This might seem a little high, but that is mainly because we have seen some great fighters go down lately, one of which was taken down by Brienne: The Hound. Brienne has also been seen defeating Loras Tyrell in combat, and easily dispatching a chained, malnurished Jaime Lannister. She waits and watches for a signal from Sansa, and I am sure everyone in the Thrones community would liek to see her cut through Roose Bolton's men. 

3. Tormund Giantsbane: We've seen him cut down over a dozen men of the Night's Watch, and do the same to the army of the dead. 

4. Jorah Mormont: While it has been awhile, Jorah has reminded us this season he is a bad ass. He killed a handfull of Stone Men while protecting Tyrion in Old Valyria, he made quick work of slaves in the fighting pits, but we've also been reminded he took down on of Kal Drogo's blood-riders with relative ease while protecting Daenerys. He may be long in the tooth, but he continues to prove to be one of the best fighters in the show. 

5. Wun Wun: He's a fucking Giant. He was crushing the army of the dead like ants. Unfortunately, I think the White Walkers can turn him into shattered ice just like everyone else.

6. Ser Bronn of the Blackwater: Bronn carried Jaime on his back on their trip to Dorne - he took on all four Dornish guards, leaving Jaime one injured one to deal with while he killed the other three single-handed. While he is currently stuck in a cell, his voice is so pretty it makes HBO decide to give us some of that sweet, sweet gratuitous nudity! Rawwr, Sandsnakes!

7. Jaqen H’ghar: Though we don't know if this is the same man who helped Arya and her friends escape the Lannisters, we know one thing: he knows how to kill. So much so, he teaches a class.  

8. Daario Naharis: He is a tougher nut to crack. Most of his fighting has been done in the shadows. He remains a dangerous man, but we haven't seen him battle any great warriors - yet. Although he did take down Mereen's champion with a single blow, and led the secret invasion of Yunkai. 

9. Grey Worm: Currently laying in bed recovering from an ambush, only alive because of the heroic effort of Barriston Selmy, he becomes the best fighters in Daenerys corner.  

10. Jaime Lannister: It's a shame we didn't get to see more of him in his prime. We saw him battle Ned Stark in the streets of King's Landing, but that was basically a draw until one of his men injured Ned and ruined the fight. Since he lost his hand, he has been a shell of his former self - barely able to beat an injured guard from Dorne. He had his HAND full (see what I did there?) with the Sand Snakes, he should probably learn from his younger brother and stick to politics. But he is getting better - perhaps he will learn to use his golden hand as a weapon as opposed to a handicap. 

11. Loras Tyrell: We've heard tales of the Knight of Flowers being a great warrior - but he appears to be more of tournament fighter than one in real life. He was defeated by Brienne in season 2, and barely put up a fight when he was arrested by the Faith. But for now, he sits in a cell, likely waiting his fate to be decided by trial. 


Monday, March 2, 2015

Giants Blueprint - built to win now, later, and some other time I forgot



It has been funny reading the articles during this Giants team semi-Dynasty run. Everyone wants to know how the Giants do it, and what is their blue print that has allowed them to win 3 in 5 years. 

From a local perspective, it is easy to see. Brian Sabean has had a way of building teams, a style he has remained consistent to, and over time its become obvious. 




First: - he never left defense behind. Giants fans have been maddened by the hitters he has passed by because they weren't up to snuff defensively. And it has shown in the playoffs. The Giants have routinely taken advantage of an error, and consistently seen offensive juggernauts slain by the Giants boring plan of not making mistakes. 

2nd - They keep their money in house. You wouldn't know it based on the complaints about this off-season, but the Giants were 6th in payroll last year. this year, they are 4th, with only the Dodgers, Yankees and Red Sox behind them. But How? Because they don't let their key players leave, they spend the money to keep them, Pablo Sandoval aside. Look at all the double digit Millionaires they have: Buster Posey makes $16.5 million this year (9/167 extension), Matt Cain is making 20, Tim Lincecum 18, Hunter Pence 18.5, Tim Hudson 12, Angel Pagan 9, Marco Scutaro 7, Jake Peavy 11, and they gave Madison Bumgarner an extension years ago so that he is only making 6.5 this year. Considering they legitimately offered Pablo Sandoval 20 million a year, how many 15+ million dollar a year position players can one team have?

3rd - The Giants find undervalued players. It has been their most consistent trait. Sure, Billy Beane seems to do it better than anyone else, but look at some of the most KEY players in the Giants recent World Series Runs: Aubrey Huff, Juan Uribe, Marco Scutaro, Gregor Blanco, Travis Ishikawa, Ryan Vogelsong, Jake Peavy - none of these players were very highly regarded as players when the Giants acquired them. But each one of them made key contributions in the playoffs that brought home a championship.  

This is no overnight Success. Sabean has been the head of the Giants for 18 years, and in that times has seen a lot of ways to build teams. And he has seen the flaws in his early playoff teams. In this era of pitching, you can never have enough - that's why the Giants go into this season with 7 starters. They took undervalued players to fill holes in Left field and Third Base. And they go into 2015 ready to compete, entertain the Bay Area, and if they are close at the deadline, make a move to try for their first ever back to back championship. And if all else fails, they have nearly 50 million in payroll coming off the books next off-season (Lincecum, Hudson, Vogelsong, Scutaro, Affeldt, Mcgee and Aoiki. With their track record of winning with pitching, I am sure they will be tossing their hats in the ring to the either improve offensive shortcomings (Juston Upton, David Freese, Yoenis Cespedes) or further strengthen the starting rotations (David Price, Jeff Samardzija, Jordan Zimmerman)

Even in an odd year, its still good to be a Giants fan.

Monday, February 23, 2015

NFL - The cruel mistress

When people ask me why I am not a big college sports fan, I usually reply that it is too hard to keep up with the turnover. You watch a player grow for four years (if lucky) and when they get really good - they are gone.

Well I guess pro sports isn't any different. Look at the team that Jim Harbaugh went 13-3 with in 2011

QB - Alex Smith                                   LE - Justin Smith
RB - Frank Gore                                   NT - Isaac Sopoaga
FB - Bruce Miller                                 RE - Ray McDonald
WR - Micheal Crabtree                        OLB - Aldon Smith
WR - Tedd Ginn                                  MLB - Patrick Willis
TE - Vernon Davis                               MLB - Navarro Bowman
LT - Joe Staley                                     OLB - Ahmed Brooks
LG - Mike Iupati                                  CB - Carlos Rogers
C - Jonathon Goodwin                         CB - Tarrell Brown / Chris Culliver
RG - Alex Bone                                    FS - Dashon Goldsen
RT - Anthony Davis                             SS - Donte Whitner

This was a young team! On the cusp of a championship, and really, better than the Giants that year - it seemed like we were about to enter a 5-10 year championship window with play-makers on defense and a great offensive line. Flash Forward to this off season. 4 years later. Reports are the 49ers are anywhere from 4-8 million dollars over the cap. Even after cutting Ahmed Brooks, the Niners are about even on the cap. Assuming most of their high profile Free Agents leave and Justin Smith retires, look at what we may be rooting for next season:

QB - Colin Kapernik                            LE - Tony Jerrod-Eddie
RB - Carlos Hyde                                 NT - Ian Williams/Glenn Dorsey
FB - Bruce Miller                                 RE - Tank Carradine
WR - Anquan Bolden                          OLB - Aldon Smith
WR - Stevie Johnson                            MLB - Patrick Willis
TE - Vernon Davis                               MLB - Navarro Bowman / Chris Borland
LT - Joe Staley                                     OLB - Aaron Lynch
LG - Brandon Thomas                         CB - Tramaine Brock
C    - Marcus Martin                             CB - Dontae Johnson
RG - Alex Bone                                    FS - Eric Reid
RT - Anthony Davis                             SS - Antione Bethea

What happened? How is this roster taking up the cap?? I am sure some players will be approached to restructure - Kap, Johnson, Davis, Willis all feel like candidates for restructuring their contracts to free up some space - but even if everyone is ready and willing, this likely means just freeing up enough money to perhaps bring back Frank Gore or one of our other free agents.

Jim Tomsula said he wont try and talk Justin Smith out of retirement - well fans should hope he does, because without him that defensive front looks a little light. Despite the draft picks spent in recent years, it seems like another large DE to eventually replace Smith should be a 2nd-3rd round focus. Every team has a blue print, and Trent Baalke's seems to be that pass rush can eliminate the need for a ten million dollar corner-back - so With Chris Culliver set to get paid and Perrish Cox also coming off a strong year, the 49ers will need to revamp the pass rush and their corner depth.

I look at that roster and think it is still a talented team, but it will take one hell of a draft for us to match up with the top teams in the league. The team is  also a year away from discussing getting rid of Bowman or Willis for cap reasons and to let Borland play. Veron Davis is coming off a down yer and is a year away from free agency. The NFL is a cruel Mistress - I miss the days where you saw a great unit of players play together for the majority of their careers. I might as well just get into college - I know I'll get to watch those players for at least 3 years.

Thank god I am not an A's fan!

Monday, April 8, 2013

Breakfast Burger

I remember the first time I saw egg on a cheeseburger I thought someone had gone crazy. One day my little brother ordered it and I finally tried it... Now it is one of my favorite burger toppings. So of course, loving breakfast, I wanted to make my own version of a Breakfast burger.

 The hamburger patty I use is pretty small - its bigger around than the English muffin but is really tihng, probably only 2-3 ounces. 
 So, cook your bacon til crispy and set aside. Oops, I made too much... Toast the English muffin long enough to toast it, but time it so it can cool a smidge before you start plating.


While the bacon is getting healthy under some paper towels, push the muffin down and start cooking your burger to a perfect medium rare, and coer with cheese - the cheese doesn't have to totally melt.


 Take out the muffin, place the burger on top.



Last - crack the egg - I wanted to make a fried egg, but when I cracked it I knicked the yoke and it became a little more scrambled. The end result is delicious mess - that should have been served with tater tots...









Tortilla Pizza

Now I wont lie - I am no master chef - most of my recipe's are stolen, or adapted, from someone else's... But who DOESN'T do that. Any ways, when its a hand me down from your parents, even better.

My parents used to make tortilla pizza when I was a kid, but they always fried them - Well, cooked them in a frying pan, almost like you would a quesadilla. Well, I took that idea and put the thing in an Oven, the way a pizza was MEANT to be cooked.

I cooked these ones with home made pizza sauce, mozzarella(I shredded it myself - don't but that pre-shredded crap, its got some chemical spray on it so the cheese doesn't melt right).

Spread a thin layer of sauce on the tortilla, the spread a thing amounf of cheese - you do't want to over do it with either, this is a very light snack, great for when you are craving pizza but don't want to blow your diet, or to serve as an appetizer for friends.


I decided to make one salami as well, to show these will crisp enough to hold some toppings. Remember, you don't want to pack it, but light toppings like salami, pepperoni, or anything sliced thin shold be fine.
 

 I actually place these directly on the stove racks - I bet you could very easily BBQ them - but the over crisps it pretty good. You could probably do it in a pan, but I don't think the tortilla would crisp fast enough.


 Take them out once the cheese is melted and starts to brown and the tortilla edges get crispy - it doesn't take long, maybe only 10 minutes. But keep an eye on them - they can burn easily if you aren't careful.


 I cooked mine at 400 degrees, but I think hotter is better - max it out to 500 for a crispier tortilla, but you see from the pictures it holds the toppings pretty sturdily. And it isn't greasy at all.